Divorce Doubt and Fire Fear
Pain is inevitable.
There is no avoiding challenges and tragedy in life. (I wish we could).
You can spend your whole life, preparing for and hiding from the next unfortunate circumstance or ..
YOU CAN LIVE!
At some point, you will have to identify your tests? You’ll know, because they will keep coming up.
Tests require you to learn something, become smart and wiser.
Think about all the challenges you have experienced in life, what did you learn, how did you grow.
Were there challenges, that you tried to hide from, you ran away from, still feel stuck there?
The limits we create
In every chapter of my life, I have had to battle and overcome some limiting belief or dysfunctional thought that was blocking my success. For much of my story that limit was DOUBT and his manager was FEAR.
Just like you, I wanted to be a successful entrepreneur, I wanted to win, and I needed the blueprint.
I read books, attended workshops, watched webinars, researched for months.
But can I be honest?
You can have that blueprint, you can have the most amazing coaches, mentors and advisers, but it won’t matter…you won’t become a self-made millionaire or even thousandaire (not a real word) if you are married to Doubt and dating Fear.
I am now writing my 37th Chapter, but I’m thankful for the revelation in my 27th Chapter, something, that would change me and my then two-year-old daughter’s life forever.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” ― Suzy Kassem
DOUBT…entered my life at a very early age and took over in unimaginable ways. I believed that doubt and fear would protect me, from failure, embarrassment and shame. So, I committed to that ideology. My marriage to doubt and employment of fear made sense to me back then.
Doubt is the belief that you cannot do something, which interferes with your decision making and creates hesitation. Fear is a strong emotion, the result of doubt. Fear is the feeling that something is dangerous. Doubt and fear do not require factual evidence or proof for it to control your life, it just does, because YOU believe it.
Becoming an entrepreneur, starting my own business, seemed so far away and it also seemed impossible, But as the late great Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible, until it is done.”
Even when I could push past doubt, overcome the what if’s, you can’t and probably shouldn’t, FEAR like the micro-manager was always there, making sure, I would be too afraid to take a chance. It was depressing, to have an amazing opportunity, THINK I could actually do it, but FEEL like I can’t and DO nothing. Our ultimate success is anchored to these three things, what we THINK, FEEL and DO .
A Blessing in an Almost Tragedy
In my 27th Chapter, I came face to face with death.
On a very cold, snowy, icy, weekday afternoon, I was driving back home to Brooklyn, NY from a trip to the snowy mountains of Upstate New York and I got in a car accident on the highway. My mom was driving ahead of me, she could see me in her rear view mirror. I was driving directly behind her. Four hours into our drive home, my car suddenly started swerving towards the median on the highway, I was staring at oncoming traffic in the opposite direction, I pulled the wheel back.
My car started spinning around and around, then my car was in the air, flipping once, twice, then off the ground, I took my hands off the wheel. I let go! I was sure I was going over the mountain and I thought God THIS-IS-IT. I said a prayer, thought about my daughter losing her mother at two years old and I let Jesus take the wheel.
In that moment, I was 100% free of doubt and fear. If HE’s got me, all is well.
I landed safely in a ditch. My mother, who was driving in front of me, stopped her car, pulled over to the shoulder and walked back to my car. She said she thought for sure, her eldest child, only girl was DEAD.
Right, there, I made a declaration, I was going to Succeed or Die trying (yeah, like Fifty), I was going to let God use me and nothing and no one could stop me. I knew I was going to have to divorce doubt and fire fear.
Divorce Doubt and Fire Fear
I know that deep down in your heart, you know exactly what you want to do right now, you know exactly where you need to go, you know exactly why? You may even know HOW?
But… there’s always a BUT…an obstacle, a reason why it won’t work, a reason you can’t, a reason it’s not the right time, it’s too late or you’re not qualified or capable.
If I didn’t divorce doubt and fire fear, I would not be here (writing this blog post).
After the Divorce & Change in Management
Think of all the things you have overcome after tragedy. Think of ways you need to divorce doubt and fire fear. I spent the years after that car accident pushing past my own doubts and fears.
2008
I felt empowered, stronger, wiser. I made a lot of changes, first changing my mindset, managing my emotional baggage, seeking support from mentors, therapists, coaches. I wanted to be around POSITIVE people who were confident, growing, following their dreams. I found my tribe online, at meetups, conferences, workshops, seminars & retreats.
2010
I enrolled in Graduate school. A single mom, full time master’s program, with an internship and two part-time jobs.
2012
To my own surprise, I graduated with psychology honors.
2014
I was laid off from what I thought was a stable job and decided to take my income potential into my own hands. This meant that I could acquire ALL of the money I made in one hour, not just 30% and the rest going to my employer.
2015
I am now licensed in two states as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. I incorporated myself as a business.
2017
I now have a virtual therapy and coaching practice. I have been invited to speak at events and I currently host a public access radio and television show Career Therapy with Seneca Williams on wdjyfm.com. You can find recordings on YouTube. I look forward to embarking on new endeavors and I open myself up to all kinds of opportunities.
Need Support for your Entrepreneurial Journey?
Get emotional support and entrepreneur productivity strategies within a supportive network of other aspiring entrepreneurs.
Join the premiere network for Entrepreneurship and Emotional Wellness for weekly Live Coaching Q&A calls and curated content on mindset, wellness, entrepreneurship.
About The Author:
Seneca Williams, LMHC, CPC, therapist and coach, is the Founder of the premiere membership network for women, to address entrepreneurship and emotional wellness. The Conquer Network was birthed, when she realized the distinct connection between an entrepreneurs success to her emotional wellness and mindset, which is not addressed in traditional business coaching. She helps women entrepreneurs, build confidence and improve their emotions, to improve their productivity as an entrepreneur. In the network, entrepreneurs gain strategies on personal growth and entrepreneurship from industry experts.
Photo Credit: pexels, moose photos, https://photos.icons8.com/