In every chapter of my life, I have had to battle and overcome some limiting belief or dysfunctional thought that was blocking my success. For much of my story that limit was DOUBT and his manager FEAR.
Just like you, I wanted to be a successful entrepreneur, I wanted to win, and I needed the blueprint. I read books, attended workshops, watched webinars, researched for months. But can I be honest? You can have that blueprint, you can have the most amazing coaches, mentors and advisers, but it won’t matter…you won’t become a self-made millionaire or even thousandaire (not a real word) if you are married to Doubt and employ Fear.
I am now writing my 37th Chapter and I’m thankful for the revelation in my 27th Chapter, something, that would change me and my then two-year-old daughter’s life forever.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” ― Suzy Kassem
entered my life at a very early age and took over in unimaginable ways. I believed that doubt and fear would protect me, from failure, embarrassment and shame. So, I committed to that ideology. My marriage to doubt and employment of fear made sense to me back then.
Doubt is the belief that you cannot do something, which interferes with your decision making and creates hesitation. Fear is a strong emotion, the result of doubt. Fear is the feeling that something is dangerous. Doubt and fear do not require factual evidence or proof for it to control your life, it just does, because YOU believe it.
Becoming an entrepreneur, starting my own business, seemed so far away and it also seemed impossible, But as the late great Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible, until it is done.”
Even when I could push past doubt, overcome the what if’s, you can’t and probably shouldn’t, FEAR like the micro-manager was always there, making sure, I would be too afraid to take a chance. It was depressing, to have an amazing opportunity, THINK I could actually do it, but FEEL like I can’t and DO nothing. Our ultimate success is anchored to these three things, what we THINK, FEEL and DO .
A Blessing in an Almost Tragedy
In my 27th Chapter, I came face to face with death.
On a very cold, snowy, icy, weekday afternoon, I was driving back home to Brooklyn, NY from a trip to the snowy mountains of Upstate New York and I got in a car accident on the highway. My mom was driving ahead of me, she could see me in her rear view mirror. I was driving directly behind her. Four hours into our drive home, my car suddenly started swerving towards the median on the highway, I was staring at oncoming traffic in the opposite direction, I pulled the wheel back. My car started spinning around and around, then my car was in the air, flipping once, twice, then off the ground, I took my hands off the wheel. I let go! I was sure I was going over the mountain and I thought God THIS-IS-IT. I said a prayer, thought about my daughter losing her mother at two years old and I let Jesus take the wheel.
In that moment, I was 100% free of doubt and fear. If HE’s got me, all is well.
I landed safely in a ditch. My mother, who was driving in front of me, stopped her car, pulled over to the shoulder and walked back to my car. She said she thought for sure, her eldest child, only girl was DEAD.
Right, there, I made a declaration, I was going to Succeed or Die trying (yeah, like Fifty), I was going to let God use me and nothing and no one could stop me. I knew I was going to have to divorce doubt and fire fear.
Divorce doubt and Fire Fear
I know that deep down in your heart, you know exactly what you want to do right now, you know exactly where you need to go, you know exactly why? You may even know HOW?
But… there’s always a BUT…an obstacle, a reason why it won’t work, a reason you can’t, a reason it’s not the right time, it’s too late or you’re not qualified or capable.
If I didn’t divorce doubt and fire fear, I would not be here.
After the Divorce & Change in Management
I felt empowered, stronger, wiser. I made a lot of changes, first changing my mindset, managing my emotional baggage, seeking support from mentors, therapists, coaches. I wanted to be around POSITIVE people who were confident, growing, following their dreams. I found my tribe online, at meetups, conferences, workshops, seminars & retreats. I enrolled in Graduate school in 2008. A single mom, full time master’s program, with an internship and two part-time jobs. To my own surprise, I graduated with psychology honors in 2012. I am now licensed in two states as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. In 2014 I was laid off from what I thought was a stable job and decided to take my income potential into my own hands. This meant that I could acquire ALL of the money I made in one hour, not just 30% and the rest going to my employer. I incorporated myself as a business. I now have a virtual therapy and coaching practice. I have been invited to speak at events and I currently host a public access radio and television show Career Therapy with Seneca Williams on wdjyfm.com. I look forward to embarking on new endeavors and I open myself up to all kinds of opportunities.
A millionaire mindset is a terrible thing to waste
When I was growing up, and people asked me what I wanted to be…my first thought was always lawyer! Honestly, being a lawyer was just about making a lot of money, getting the love and acceptance I craved and approval from my Dad, because I always felt lack, felt different, felt not enough. I had a piss poor mindset.
Deep down, deep inside, I love helping people, I love creating, I love being a change agent, I wanted to leave a legacy, so becoming a therapist and coach is only me stepping into my God given calling. A much, much richer mindset.
From my observation of what makes a self-made woman millionaire, it’s all about your emotional intelligence and emotional wellness. I’ve met a few self-made women in conferences, women just…like...me. Women like Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Beyoncé do not entertain, nor do they associate with doubt or fear. They don’t subscribe to “The Limited Beliefs Channel” and they don’t watch reruns of “Who hurt them and Why” and most definitely do not throw around the “empty excuses card”, to get out of “fear of failure jail”.
One piece of advice, it’s to, be the girl you wanted to be, before the world told you, the woman you should be.
The Power of Your Words
Octavia E. Butler the award winning, science fiction writer, wrote one of the most powerful manifestos, I have every read, in history, on the back of a spiral notebook. You can google her journal entry. “I write best selling books, that make to the best sellers list and stay there for at least 2 months.” So specific, speaking faith over her work. Declaring victory as if it were already hers.
I took up journal writing at an early age…so therapeutic! I use expressive writing therapy with my clients, when used with talk therapy and the actions towards goals, their progress is phenomenal.
If you could go back in time and meet up with your 10-year-old self what would you tell her, your 15-year-old self, your 18 year- old- self, yourself last year?
Since we can’t go back, what would you write about yourself in the future? What do you want yourself to think, feel and do one year from now?
Start writing your story. It only takes 10 or 15 minutes to put down some powerful and prophetic words over your life.
I don’t know what Chapter you’re in, but LIVE to tell YOUR story, make it a damn good story!
Photo Credit: pexels, moose photos, https://photos.icons8.com/